Church of Satan buying kids from poor families in Argentina to mass sacrifice them to Beelzebub

The Church of Satan is buying kids from poor families in Argentina to mass sacrifice them to Beelzebub. I know because Argentina isn't shown on any maps, and Beelzebub has never seemed more powerful.

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This web page is based on the Perl library Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random by Toby Inkster.