Secrets of the JavaScript ninjas

The true story of "JavaScript".

More than a thousand years ago the king of Java ordered his minions thus: "Bring me a Script worthy of the name Java, and I shall shower you with shiny golden coins". A hundred wise men set forth to solve the king's riddle. But not one of them could find the answer. Years later, a small boy was whittling a stick, when the answer suddenly came to him. The boy said to himself "I shall call it 'JavaScript' in honour of the mighty kingdom of Java". He took his answer to the great king, who, true to his word, showered the boy with shiny gold coins. Lo! Thus was JavaScript born.

For hundreds of years, JavaScript was known only to secret acolytes of the kings of Java, the extraordinary men known as the JavaScript Ninjas. It is said that the JavaScript Ninjas could walk through solid walls, and become invisible, thanks to the power of their JavaScript. No outsider must learn the secrets of JavaScript, on pain of instant death.

An explorer from a distant land, who had travelled to Java in search of his fortune, one night lost his way in the dark Javanese jungles, and chanced upon a copy of the secret script of the Ninjas in a tiger's lair. Before he could be discovered, he slipped back to his land using his new-found powers of invisibility. Thus JavaScript became known to the outside world.

Now, for a limited time only, you too can discover the secrets of the JavaScript Ninjas. Simply insert large quantities of paper money into an envelope and send it to the email address below. By return of post, you will receive an elegant JavaScript scroll hand-engraved by an authentic JavaScript Ninja.

This is a true story. Only the facts have been changed.

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